Pre-Production: First Draft Feedback

I was able to write a first draft for each story and had a meeting with Simon, to see what I can improve on for the stories.

Here is his feedback for each story:

'Protecting Nature'

In this story there is not enough of a motive for Elliott to bring his dad back to life, is it because his dad is the only one that knows where the key to the fortune is?

The scene where Elliott finds the plant is too easy, there's not enough of a journey to find this plant, would it actually be easy to find an ancient plant?

'The Curse of Beauty'

In this story there is no motive to why Stephanie wants to be beautiful, i.e. has she got a deformity?

Also I need to decide whether this story will be modern or olden time based.

'The Devourers'

This story was the one with the less feedback. There is a lot of drama that happens in this story, however the story is very basic in the way that there are no obstacles, etc.

Overall for each story, I needed to include more of an atmospheric idea on where the characters are, I.e. more description on the locations. Also to not list what characters are wearing like a report, but incorporate it into either a movement or description in the script that visually give the reader an idea on what the character is wearing.

Unfortunately the stage of the scripts aren't scaled or big enough to work as major project so I need to work on my feedback and hopefully when he views my next draft, the stories will be a bit more developed.