Storytelling Unit - Second draft

I looked though my feedback from Simon and I was able to change where the meeting between the boy and the stranger from the end of the story to the middle. I then had to come up with a different ending.
My story has now changed to so that the main character 'Luke' imagines meeting his dad. It has the same kind of concept of The Wizard of Oz where at the beginning and end of the story is in black and white, which is the real world and the colour being the dream, where the boy meets his father.

Simon seemed to be ok with the change of my ending, he just wanted to make sure I played with the dream part so that you can recognise from the real world. He also mentioned to add right at the end that the boys father turns up at the end to his home.

I was able to read through my script a couple of times and get a couple of other people to look over it so that I made sure that my sentences made sense as well as grammar being correct.

All I need to do is make these changes, read through the script again and see if the story still makes sense. The parts I want to focus more at the moment is when the boy meets the stranger and finds out he's his dad and the part where the dad turns up at the door.